Peas, Carrots, and Butterscotch

            by Natalya Gibbs

 

            The buzz of my cell phone makes me jump. Two months ago I got a text from my mom telling me that my dog died so now no matter how much I text in class, I still think it’s an emergency whenever it goes off. Which is a lot, considering the fact that I’m the only one of my friends who has a sixth period. Senior year. I know, call me an over-achiever.

            Sliding my phone out of my pocket ever so discreetly, I check to see which one of my friends is buggin me now. Megan? Ari? My heart begins to beat faster as Mom Cell flashes on my screen. I’ll be at your school in five minutes. Tell your teacher it’s an emergency.

            My left hand shakily puts my phone back in my pocket, while my right goes up in the air to get my teacher’s attention.

            “Yes, Anna?”

            “Umm…I have to leave…I, uh, it’s an emergency,” I manage to stammer out.

            “You mean you want to go to the bathroom? Well, I’m sorry but not during the first ten minutes of class. Now where was I? Ahh, yes, can any one tell me which Supreme Court case established judicial review? Yes, Anna?”

            “Well, uh, no, I mean I have to go home. My mom, um, she sent me a text message. Apparently there’s a family emergency” I say, standing, as I pull my bag onto my shoulder.

            “Oh. Well then, I do hope everything is all right.”

            “Yea, thanks. And it’s Marbury v. Madison.”

            The walk up to the front office is possibly the longest of my life. I walk slowly, in part because I’m afraid of what waits me but also knowing that if I get there before my mom I will not be able to stand the waiting. I almost breathe a sigh of relief when I see my mom standing at the front desk.

            Coming closer, I can see her tear stained face. Her mascara has run all over her face and her hair is down. A clear sign something is wrong because she hates it that way.

            “Mom?”  I choke out, already tearing up before she has even told me anything.

            “Oh, sweetie,” she exclaims, throwing her arms around my neck. Warm, salty tears hit my neck. She’s crying again. Not wanting to have a similar breakdown inside my school, I half drag my mom out the double doors into the bright sunshine. The pretty weather is a huge contrast to our situation and it hits me like a slap in the face.

            “It’s your brother, Anna. It’s Adam. Oh, honey; he got hit by a car. He’s in critical condition…they took him right into surgery; they couldn’t wait…”

            And that’s it.  That’s all it takes, and I’m crying too. My little brother. Cept he’s not so little anymore. He’s twelve with a crush on Emily Jacobs, our next door neighbor. I remember the day my mom and dad told me he was on the way. That a stork would be bringing me a little brother or something. They told me over dinner. They made me all green foods, which was my selection at the time. Selection was my favorite word too, I was constantly using it and in all the wrong situations. I know because my dad never lets me forget it. Neither do the home videos.

Twelve Years Ago

“Honey, daddy and I have something to tell you,” mom says, serving me more peas.

            “I know,” I say, resulting in mom giving me the same look she gets when daddy’s mommy stops by.  

            “How do you know that sweetie?” she asks, her voice sounding like my Talking Sally doll right before she ran out of batteries.

            I smile. “You gave me all green foods. Is there something you want me to do?”

            “No, honey. Of course not. Your father and I would never bribe you,” she smiles and glances at dad, who puts a huge bite of spinach into his mouth.

            “You know daddy, you shouldn’t eat so fast. You should enjoy it, take it slow. Eat like I do with my selection.”

            “What? Anna, that doesn’t make sense.”

            “Let it go, James.”

            “All right then, its good news, Anna,”he says taking mom’s hand. 

            “We’re going to have a baby. You’re going to be a big sister!” mom says, dumping the food colored casserole onto my plate.

            “A big sister? I don’t want to. Do I have to?”

            “Well, yeah, honey. You kinda don’t have a choice. Mommy’s pregnant; you’re going to have a brother.”

            “A brother? Gross.”

            “Anna!” my dad shouts, turning red.

            “It’s ok, James. She’s just shocked. Its big news. Let’s just have a nice dinner, ok?”

            “All right,” dad says, his voice sounding funny, almost like he’s choking.

            “Thank you. More broccoli, Anna?”

The ride to the hospital is long and quiet. Except for our sniffling, we don’t say anything to each other. I don’t know what mom’s thinking about, but I’m thinking about the day I found out his name. Adam James. I was so mad at my parents; they stole my initials and used them for him. I’m Anna Jennifer, you see. My mom said she thought it was “cute”. And I’ll always remember that day because she said Adam and Anna. But I came first. So it should have been Anna and Adam. Now, looking back, it isn’t that big of a deal. In fact, I shouldn’t even be getting all worked up over it now. But I think that’s what sent me over the edge. What led me to actually run away.

Twelve Years Ago

            “Anna, honey? It’ll be time to eat soon. Wash up, ok?”

            “OK,” I yell back from upstairs.

I’ve been upstairs in my room all day. And the only reason no one has checked on me is because relatives have been coming through the house. There’s my aunt Debby who always smells like soap and raisins. And uncle Davey who has a long beard that tickles me and makes him look like Santa Claus. The only person who came over to see me was my neighbor Mrs. Daniels. She lives on our street, but sometimes I forget that because our street is sooo long and she lives at the end of it. It is not my selection to walk far, but when it comes to Mrs. Daniels I don’t mind. When she came she brought me a butterscotch candy. She always has them for me; they are my favorite selection. Sometimes she pretends like she doesn’t have any, but I know where she hides them. No matter what, they will be in her front pocket; the right one. We sit on her porch sometimes and talk. Sometimes I get lemonade, sometimes milk and cookies. But always a butterscotch. Once, she told me that girls are smarter than boys and are about three years older, maturity wise. When she told me that, she helped me count on my fingers to figure out how old I really am. Hold up one hand, with the thumb out on the other. That makes six. And then add your pointer, middle, and ring finger. Three more fingers, three years. That makes nine. So it’s like I’m nine; not six. Mommy doesn’t like me talking to Ms. Daniels. She says she’s full of ideas and is too old-fashioned. I don’t understand what that means.

When Ms. Daniels was leaving I heard her tell mommy that I am welcome any time. I told mommy that that would be my selection but all mommy said was, “we’ll see.” Mommy told daddy we’ll see once when he brought up the idea of a pool table. We never got one. That’s how I knew that in mommy talk we’ll see actually meant no, or never, nada. At school they teach us Spanish. Nada means nothing and hola means hello. But when mommy said we’ll see, well, that’s when I got the idea to go to Ms. Daniels by myself. I mean she did say “anytime” and it would very much so be my selection to live with Ms. Daniels. Yesterday, mommy forgot my name. She called me Adam then Sammy, our dog, before she remembered Anna. Ms. Daniels would never forget my name. Ever.

“Anna!!”

“Coming!”

****

 

The next morning the sun is shining when I wake up. The Winnie the Pooh clock by my bed says 8 27. I don’t know what that means, I just know the numbers. I heard Adam cry at 7 22. I remember ‘cuz 7 and 2 are my favorite number selections. Mommy says that when Adam cries she gets tired. So she and daddy and Adam and Sammy are probably still sleeping. So they won’t know that I’m leaving. I would leave a note telling them about my selection cept I don’t know how to write. Oh well.

My Going to Grandma’s suitcase makes squeaky noises so I am careful to pick it up as I walk downstairs. I have to take Mimi, my doll, out and carry her because the suitcase got to be too heavy. Once I fix that, I slip out the door…

When I get to Ms. Daniels’ house, the lights are on. But I knew that because she told me once that she was an early riser. “The early bird gets the worm” she told me once. She comes to the door right away after I knock.

“Anna?”

“Hi, Ms. Daniels.”

“Oh, sweetie. What a pleasant surprise. Come in, come in.”

I follow her into the living room that I know so well. The sounds of Sheila chirping greet me along with the picture of Burt. Burt was Ms. Daniels’ husband, but he died. Mommy says to say passed away but passed away to where? She used to not talk about him but now she does because it is her selection to not be sad and remember the happy.

“Here, Anna; sit down. Goodness, it’s early. For you, that is. You know what I always say; the early bird gets the worm. But, Anna, where’s your mommy? Did she drop you off? I don’t remember hearing a car…”

Ms. Daniels sounds confused. All of a sudden, I wonder if it’s ok with her for me to be here.

“I walked, Ms. Daniels.”

“Oh heavens. Why would you do that?”

“Well, you said anytime, right? And so, I thought, I thought…”

“Oh, sweetie. Don’t cry. Here, honey everything’s going to be all right. And of course I meant anytime, you are always welcome here. But you have to ask your mommy and daddy first, ok?”

“So I can live here, as long as I ask?”

“Oh, Anna. Not live. Just visit. You know, milk and cookies; a walk to the park…”

“A butterscotch.”

“Oh, yes of course, a butterscotch,” she says, handing me one.

“But, Anna your mommy and daddy love you very much. And I’m sorry you got the wrong idea. But, we’ve gotta get you home. Your parents must be worried sick.”

“No, they probably haven’t even noticed I’m gone. When Adam cries in the night time, mommy says she gets tired. She’s probably still sleeping. And daddy, he doesn’t swing me around anymore like he used to. It’s all about Adam.”

“Well, sweetie that’s because he’s a baby. Babies need lots of attention because they can’t do things for themselves yet. Not like you can.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really. But that doesn’t mean mommy and daddy don’t love you anymore. Have you told them how you’re feeling?”

“No.”

“Ok then sweetie. Here’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to call your parents, let them know we’re on our way. And then I’ll walk you back and you can tell them just what you told me. I’ll help you if you want. Ok?”

“OK.”

When we get back to my house, mommy runs outside to greet us. She looks worried and wraps me in a warm hug which makes me feel good. Ms. Daniels leaves shortly after so that mommy, daddy, Adam and I can spend the afternoon together. When I see daddy, he is trying to feed Adam mashed carrots. Yuck. Carrots are not my selection, and it looks like Adam doesn’t like them either because he’s not eating.

“Daddy, why don’t we try feeding Adam the peas? I bet he’d like peas a lot better than carrots.”

“Anna, honey, I know green foods are your favorite, but I don’t think that has anything to do with Adam. He’s just not hungry sweet heart.”

“But can we try daddy? Please? I mean, maybe he’s not hungry but I wouldn’t be hungry either if my only selection could be carrots.”

“Let her try, James.”

“OK. Here, you sit here honey and I’ll get the peas. You can try to feed them to him, ok?”

“Me?”

“Yes, you.”

“OK, daddy.”

Daddy comes back with the mashed peas. I get some on the spoon and hold it up to Adam’s mouth. At first, nothing happens. He just stares at the spoon. But then, I hold the spoon closer and he opens his mouth and eats the peas!

“See, I told you daddy. He doesn’t like yucky carrots, just like me.”

“You’re  right Anna. Just like you.”

****

Dad meets us when we get to the hospital. His face is just as red and splotchy as ours. That’s one thing I can say about my dad, he’s never afraid to show emotion.

“Remember when I finally shared my butterscotch candy with Adam? Gosh, it took me so long, I was so selfish. Wanted Ms. Daniels all to myself. But when I finally let him in, gave him that approval…Gosh, the look on his face…priceless. I just hope I get to see that again…”

After that we don’t speak. Just sit down in the waiting room to wait. It seems like hours we’re sitting there, but I don’t dare check any clocks. I’m afraid I’ll put a timetable on how long he should be in surgery and the freak out even more, when really I have no idea. Mom is dozing quietly on my shoulder when I see a doctor exit those swingy double doors that you see on TV. ER and what not. Shows like that. Don’t ask me how I know this is Adam’s doctor, but somehow I do.  My suspicion is confirmed when dad jumps up. I gently shake mom awake and her eyes are open in a flash.

“How he is?” Dad speaks first.

“Surgery was successful. His right leg is broken in two places and there’s lots of bruising. He may not look like the Adam you saw this morning, but from what we can tell there will be no permanent brain trauma.”

“You mean like brain damage?”

“Yes. But I don’t think we’ll be worrying about that. The anesthesia should be wearing off now, you can come see him.”

“All of us can?” I find myself asking. Jeez, maybe I do watch too much TV but I always thought it was two at a time.

“Of course. Follow me.”

We follow him down a series of hallways until finally we reach Adam’s room. He is lying in the bed all banged up and bruised, leg elevated and in a cast. He turns his head, the bit that he can, when we walk in.

“Oh, Adam,” mom and dad are rushing to his side immediately. I hang back. He gives me a weak smile over their shoulders as they bend to hug him. Then it’s my turn. I sit on the bed and open my hand to reveal two butterscotch candies. And when he smiles I know everything is going to be ok.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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