Brotherly Love

            by Nate Haile

 

                                 

            Most mothers in Sierra Leone started there days by waking up early in the morning and eating a light breakfast to prepare them for a long and arduous day that awaited them. They’d began by feeding and clothing their children and walking them to school. Once they head to the fields to collect and plant crops they’d prepare the firewood for the evening. This is then followed by a journey to the cleanest river in town to collect buckets fool of water and head back home to cook for the family. All of these mothers who were similar to one another in this small town happened to be close companions. They would socialize when there was time to spare.

            “Oh God, the school year is almost over for the children. I guess where going to have to get them a new soccer ball to keep them busy.”

            “Ha. Not my kids. There going to be helping me out on the field. I’m getting to old.”

           

            Invitations to everyone in the town would be made when a marriage, birth of a child or baptism took place. All of the mothers acted generously, responsiblely and appreciatively. My mother, Amath never possessed any of these traits.

 

            I didn’t know much about Amath’s past. When questions about it came up she either quickly changed the subject or ignored it. From the gossip I’ve over heard about Amath, I felt as if I knew less of her. She never got along with my grandparents. Parents in Sierra Leone were extremely strict about education and discipline, but Amath was apathetic about what her parents cared most of. She had dreams of living in the U.S., owning diamonds and excessively large houses. Her parents used encouragement as their tool to help her pick a major and stay on the right path. My mother was never encouraged. She was interested in having fun. Her biggest attribute was being able to get any men she wanted. She was easily the most attractive women in town. She would ignore the least appealing man and would go after the “potential money makers”. All of her older siblings were at the top of their class and worked during high school. They were everything their parents wanted them to be. When the time came for them to move out and live on there own, they were more than prepared. But my mother on the other hand left her parents house at the tender age of sixteen and began to start her life.

 

            Amath never made any attempt to associate with the other women in town. Most of the women’s would try and invite her over, “Amath, would you like to come over tonight…” one of our neighbors would ask my mother as she looked at them with disgust and never responded. Some of the women hated her cockiness attitude. Some felt pity for her and tried being friendly while others couldn’t stand her disdain. She assumed everyone was jealous of her. But nobody was. Her reasons for thinking this way was the life she expected waiting for her in America. My father had been living in America for the past three years and we were soon to join him there. She thought her dreams were turning into a reality. This contributed to more hatred shown against Amath. They saw her as a gold-digger. They assumed she didn’t love him and was only using him. But more then anything they didn’t want a stereotype coming to existence about Sierra Leone women’s after meeting Amath. My older brother Saku who was 13 years old had high expectations of America from watching movies and news. He thought he’d fit right in. Saku resembled many of my mother traits. At the small and expensive school we attend Saku had a big reputation for getting into fights. This usually occurred when he showed off the new electronic equipment dad both for him which ended up getting stolen. Saku didn’t have any friends at all and that never seemed to have bothered him.

 

            My relationship with my mother and brother always turned hostile when I invited a friend from school over. They didn’t enjoy watching guests treat our home as if it were their own. They both were getting annoyed by Sierra Leone and desperately wanted to start a new life. I was as enthusiastic as they were but also disappointed about leaving my friends.    

 

            My mom and Saku weren’t feeling as nervous as I am about seeing father. When my father was in Sierra Leone he was focused on becoming a doctor. He went to the U.S. to pursue his dream and promised us that he would bring us to America when he was financially stabled. My father was six foot three inches tall, dark, bald and weighs only 150 pounds. His parenting skills were completely different than the other parents. He believed in using words and love to discipline a child rather than violence. The past three years without him had been lonely. Since the last time I had seen my father my personality hadn’t  changed as much as my body figure. Even though I’m only eleven years old I’m the same height as Saku but much more athletic.  

           

“… We will be arriving in California at approximately eleven AM...Hope you enjoy your flight with American Airlines.”

           

            “Finally we’re here. Isn’t it beautiful?” Amath said while taking off her sunglasses.

            “Aaah, It even smells good,” Saku responded taking in a deep breath.

I looked around to catch a glimpse of Dad, but no luck.

            “Amath, where is Dad?”

            “Ooh yeah, he should be here somewhere. He’s probably running late. Let’s wait for him in one of those stores.” 

            “I think we should wait here for Dad. “He wouldn’t want us to get bored on our first stay in the U.S,” Saku responded.

 

            “Come on boys.”

Saku followed Amath towards the stores.

            “Aanu, are you coming?” Amath asked.

I couldn’t respond or even move. I was facing towards one of the main entrance in the airport, but that wasn’t what I was looking at. I was starring at the man in front of the door. This man had a dark brown suit on and was holding flowers with both hands. He looked confused and anxious. Switching his head left to right. He began to stare at the television that listed the plan schedule. He looked at his watch and became even more nervous by biting his lips and tapping his foot. This mans name is Michiko Deng and he is my father.

            “Aanu, boy come on lets go to the store it will-

I heard nothing else. I was running towards my father. I made sharp turns to avoid bumping into people. I ran faster than I ever ran in my life. As I got closer I yelled out, “Dad!”

“Aanu!” he yells back dropping the flowers and opening his arms. He immediately grabbed me and lifted me in the air and hugged me.

 

            He took us to his car, a light brown two door 1995 Honda.

            “You drive that thing?” Amath asked looking surprised.

            “Ooh, yes I do.” 

            “But why didn’t you buy a car like that black on or that white one over there,” Amath asked as she pointed to a black Toyota and white GMC.

            “Well first of all they’re to expensive and second of all I hardly use a car. There’s plenty of public transportation.

            “Expensive, but you’re a doctor don’t you…?”

            “I still have to pay back my loans. Lets just load the luggage’s into the car and go to our knew home.”

            During the drive dad pointed out certain places;  downtown San Francisco which is famous for it’s skyscrapers, Alcatraz which once used to be a prison but now it’s a museum, and the bay bridge, which connects Oakland to San Francisco.

            “Man dad, the weather is great out in California,” Saku said, looking outside the window.

            “Yeah, it sure is, and we still got three more months until winter arrives.”

 

            We began to slow down in front a narrow six floor apartment. Every two window across the building had a balcony. Some of the balconies had two or three plants, a few chairs and bird houses. The balcony on the sixth floor had a garden. It looked as if the it had green flower painting on it.

            “Dad, which one is ours?” I asked leaning forward.

            “Our balcony is in the back of the apartment building son.”

            “Do you have any plants?”

            “Uh no but we can plant some later if you want. We can go…”

            “Wait Michiko, this isn’t our house right?” Amath asked looking at dad.

Dad kept on explaining to her that we would only be living here for a year or so and that he was already looking at places where he could buy a house.

           

            Saku and I watched television constantly. Dad bought us a 20x20 inch T.V. for our bedroom with cable. We watched all kinds of movies together. Movies with special effects such as The Matrix and The Terminator. The T.V. was on 24-7 and so were our eyes. When dad told us about the movie theater and video rental store, we became addicted. We would check out movies from the store three times a week and head down to movie theatre twice a week. The movies were only five bucks each and Saku and I never bought popcorns, just candy bars. The employees at the movie theater would recognize us and simply say “Here come the African boys.”  

 

            After dropping of some rented movies at the store we went to the movie theater to watch a horror film called The bugs. We saw several previews for the movie and were anxious to see it. When we tried purchasing the tickets at the box office Betty, the lady who worked there told us something we never heard before. “Sorry guys, but it’s rated R.” We disappointedly picked another movie to watch. As we entered the theatre Saku grabbed my arm and pulled me inside the men’s bathroom. He told me he had a plan to get us into the theatre that was playing The Bugs. The plan was simple; we would get in the popcorn line and keep an eye on the security guards. As soon as customers started coming in through the entrance door and the guards had to cut their tickets we would speed walk into the theatre. When we left the bathroom we could see that the customers were doing their part of the plan so we just directly went to the theatre.

 

            About thirty minutes into the movie a hand was placed on my right shoulder. I looked up and saw Jeff, one of the security guards. Saku didn’t notice this until I tapped him on the shoulder. Jeff escorted both of us out of the theater.

 

            None of the employees were upset with what had happened. They found it funny and even had some sort of bet.

            “I told you they’d do it,” Jeff yelled out to Sara, the lady working the ice cream machines.

            “I thought you guys were better than that,” Sara said handing Jeff five bucks.

 

            We ended up watching the movie we were suppose to watch and when we left we took a different route to get home, thinking it would buy us more time. As we walked to the side of the movie theatre, four black teenagers approached us. They stared at us hard and began to smile as we got closer. All four of them were dressed in black but each of them had different brands of hat and shoes. They were around sixteen or seventeen years old. We ended our conversation about our favorite scenes in the movie and looked at the ground, hoping nothing would happen. They stopped walking and made it clear that they were looking at us. We passed them and continued walking. 

            “Hey Kunte Kenta. Come here,” One of the boys yelled.

We turned around looking scared and confused not knowing who they were referring to.

            “You with the soccer t-shirt on,” he said.  

            “I think you have mistaken me for someone else. I’m not Kunte Kenta,” I clarified

They began to walk towards us and my leg developed the urge to run.

            “Yo like to watch movies uh?” one of the boy asked.

            “Yeah,” Saku immediately answers. Showing little signs of fear.

            “You guys are always coming down here.”

            “Pretty much. But we rent movies from the rental store too.”

            “Man your parents must make lots of cash,”

            “Well our dad is a doctor.”

            “Ooh, so you guys won’t mind giving us a few bucks.”  

            We looked at each other not knowing what to expect. I was more worried for Saku than myself. I was confident that I could run away from them. The boys probably suspected this and so they grabbed my shirt. One of the boys lifted me off the ground with ease and demanded for money calmly. I told them anything they wanted to hear as long as they would put me down. Saku made a weak kick to the boy’s calf. The other boy simply pushed him to the floor. I was afraid to tell them that neither of us had any money with us. I looked at Saku managing to get up. I turned around and saw a his fist rolled up, cocked back and began to come at me with full force. I yelled to Saku to run as I blasted away from the boy. As I was running I could hear them laughing and getting closer. From the sound of it there could have been three guys chasing me or even four. If that was the case than Saku probably ran the other way and nobody was chasing him. I thought about how when the situation was over and I got back home me and Saku would laugh about the whole incident. After several blocks I began to catch a cramp from the all the candy bars I ate earlier in the day. I looked ahead and saw that the next stopping light was coming and was determined to make it. When my foot reached the street the red stop hand appeared but the cars still had a red light for the moment. Once I made it I turned around and saw the three boys. All three of them were leaning forward, huffing and puffing for air. I continued on running and hoped that the other boy didn’t catch Saku.

 

            When I arrived at home Amath didn’t ask me where Saku was and if she did I wouldn’t have told her the truth. Five hours passed and the time was 6 o’clock. I began to worry and came up with the idea of looking for him but dad came home early from work. He asked me where Saku was. I told him he was on his way, but that didn’t answer the question directly.

            “Aanue, where is Saku?” he asked again, slowly.

I simply told him that he could have been in trouble. I was afraid to tell him the truth. I didn’t want him to think I was a coward for abandoning my own brother. We left the apartment and drove around the possible areas Saku could have been. Amath was in the passenger’s seat and was telling us all the possible things that could have happened to Saku.

            “Michiko your stupid son did this he…”

            “Calm down Amath,” Dad begged. “We don’t know what happened for certain.”

About ten minutes later we found Saku in front of a liquor store. He had his arms around two guys and was limping on his left leg. Dad got out of the car and thanked the two teenagers. He sat Saku down and checked him. Saku never looked at Dad or showed no emotions on his face. His face had several cuts and blood on them and his left eye was swollen. His clothes had dirt all over them and his shirt had footprints on them. The two boy’s names were Kenny and Andrew. They told us that they found Saku lying down next to the store. He didn’t tell them what happened but did tell them his address. The liquor store was only a block away from the place we met those four boys. After taking Saku to the hospital the doctors told Dad, Amath, and me that he had two broken ribs on his right side, a broken jaw, bruised shoulder and had twisted his left ankle. The drive home was silent. Saku never looked at me, and hasn’t talked to me since.

 

                Dad never asked me what happened that day. Some part of me believed that he knew what had had taken place. Time passed and Saku started hanging out with Kenny and Andrew. They were always welcomed into our home. All three of them became close and attended the same high school, Pioneer High School. When I was getting ready to start my freshman year of high school Saku and his friends were about to start their junior year.

 

             Ever since we were little we had some of the same interest but as we got older we grew apart. In high school we weren’t even brothers anymore. When a teacher asked me if my brother was Saku Deng, I simply said no. And I believed it too because to me it was true. I didn’t even attend his birthdays or graduations. It’s been thirteen years since I saw my brother. And now, I’m about to attend his funeral.

 

          I walk into the church and I’m already on the aisle towards the open coffin. The church was empty because the ceremony had ended two hours ago. A priest walks out in front of the coffin and said “The ceremony ended a …”

          “I know,” I said looking down.

           “Friend or family,” he asked.

          “F-f-f family,” I stuttered.

          “Cousin or…” he stopped. He didn’t even finish his question. 

          “I’ll leave you two alone,” he said.

As I’m walking to the coffin, it hits me that my bothers dead body is the first dead body I’m going to see. I walk up the four steps slowly. I see him in a black suit, his hair is short and both hands lay straight down. His face looks exactly the same, no knew scars or anything. I don’t know what to say so I just look at him. I haven’t looked at his eyes or touched him for more than thirteen years. It surprises me that this body before me is my flesh and blood, a body that could have given me nieces and nephews, a body that could have given my children cousins, a body that came from the same women as I did a body that is my brother.