by Chazney McBride

 

A lot of people fail to grasp the concept of how important the second
grade really is. They fail to observe and appreciate how fon-ds-min-tal
this grade level is. How misspelling words like: eyebrow and allow can
make or break you. Mommy and daddy always tell me, “There’s always
somebody in life trying to take your spot.” My spot in what, I was
never really sure of, but I knew it had to be something important.

I attend Einstine Elementary, the school of the bestest and the
brightest, however everyone wasn’t all that bright. My friend Kayla
for example, she’d been left behind for three years in a row, (which
meant she was ten in the second grade). But hey, no one was complaining,
except Kayla’s mother Annette who was up there every Thursday cursing
out Ms. Williams about Kayla’s below average score on her spelling
test.

“What the fuck you mean that aint how you spell counseller?” we
heard her yell from the classroom. I looked at Kayla as she sank into
her desk. She was so embarrassed.

“Mrs. Adams please keep your voice down,” Ms. Williams pleaded.
“Now we’ve been over this every time you come up here. Kayla needs
help. She’s not grasping any of the concepts of second grade and
she’s ten!”

“Oh I know she did not just go there,” she whispered to herself.
“Oh no yo Uncle Tom ass did not just go there! Now age aint nothing
but a number, an education is a goddamn process. Take a look at me,
shit! I flunked grades K through third and I’m doing just fine!”

“Well, this so called process has been proceeding for too goddamn
long!” Ms. Williams yelled. She had put up with Annette for too long,
it was about time she gave her a piece of her mind. “Her ass is ten!
She don’t need to be in no damn second grade class, coming to
conclusions that two times two equals grape juice!” Then Annette
punched Ms. Williams in the face. We all rushed to the window just in
time to see Mr. Davis (the P.E teacher), struggling with Annette
escorting her out the school. Kayla ran out the room crying. I
personally didn’t see the problem with Kayla being the age she was. I
mean what could beat being the only real second grader to sit at the
fifth grade table? I’ll tell you…NOTHING; except probably getting an
E on my report card. Me and Kayla were a dynamic duo, the brains and bra
(or whatever it’s called) of Einstine. There were times I tried to
tutor Kayla, but it never seemed to work. It was like her brain was
blocked from learning or something.

“Okay Kayla, lets try this again,” I said getting irritated. “One
plus nine equals?”

“Ummm…wait…one, two, three, five, chocolate. It’s chocolate!”
she yelled excitedly. I sighed and walked away, Kayla called for me as I
walked into the distance, but I ignored her. Her stupidity was wearing
me down like a dirty diaper.

In the middle of the year Ms. Williams announced that we were required
to write our first essay.

“As you know soon you’ll all be moving on to the third grade;
hopefully,” she said looking at Kayla. “And you’ll have to go in
there ready and prepared to write essays. Now, who can tell me what an
essay is?” she asked. I raised my hand, a lot of my classmates sighed
really loud. They hated how I always had the answer. It wasn’t my
fault.

“Yes Becka, tell the class what an essay is,”

“An essay is diffined as a short liter…literer,”

“Literary composition,” Ms. Williams corrected me.

“Yea that,” I said a little embarrassed that I stumbled in front of
the class. “It’s written on a certain thing.”

“That’s right Becka.”

“Teacher’s pet,” Keisha whispered. Me and Kayla turned around in
out desk and glared at her. She straightened up.

“What’s the essay going to be on Ms. Williams?” Kayla asked. Ms.
Williams was taken back by the fact that Kayla even asked a question.

“Well Kayla, the topic of the essay is: what you like about attending
Einstein Elementary. And to make it interesting, I’m going to make
this an essay contest, and the winner will receive an ice cream party.
The due date is on April 16th.” Piece of cake I thought to myself.

The next day I started on my paper; it was recess. Kayla walked over.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“Starting on my essay, I’m goanna get that ice cream party,”

“I’m goanna write mine too,” Kayla said. “I wanna win so that I
can become the Queen of Sprinkles.”

“Are you serious?” I asked. Was Kayla out of her mind to even think
to go against me? In an essay contest at that? “Kayla, Kayla,
Kayla,” I chuckled. “You don’t have to try to do the essay just to
impress me. I accept you the way you are.”

“The way I am?” I’d confused her (not like it’s the first
time).

“Yes. How can I put this? Me and you are a team, like…Pinky and the
Brain, Sponge Bob and Patrick,” I explained, but she still had that
confused look on her face. The look my daddy has on his face when he
walks in on mommy after she steps out the bathtub.

“Look Kayla, we’re a team, but I just happen to be the smart
one,”

“So, you’re trying to say that I’m not smart?” I mean did she
not notice that she was ten in the second grade and thought the answer
to math equations equaled food?

“Pretty much,” I said bluntly. “But I told you, I accept you for
who you are.” Her eyes started to tear up, and she walked away. I
thought about running after her, but if I wanted to win this contest I
couldn’t let anything distract me, except for maybe a marathon of
whose line is it anyway.

It was the 14th, two days before the due date. Mom had taught me how to
use the computer over the weekend so that my paper would definitly be
better than everyone else’s. As I typed I thought about my reason for
liking being one of the best students at Einstine Elementary.

“Reason #1: Because, I’m able to express my potential of one day
becoming president.” No I thought…backspace, backspace. Was I taking
this essay too seriously? Was I taking the second grade too seriously? I
thought to myself. Sure I’d gotten outstanding grades during my
elementary school career, but I’d lost Kayla as a friend.

I finished my essay right before dinner as planned. It was a page and a
half. It would’ve been two and a half pages had I included my 20-year
plan, as well as the blue-print of my world take over, but I knew that
would be too much for my classmates to handle, especially Kayla. The
next day at school I walked into class just knowing that I was ahead of
everyone else, it felt like I was running a marathon, (I was in first
place of course), and everyone else behind me was fat; and walking. I
just knew that victory would be mine. All mine. I sat in ma desk next to
Kayla, and she was writing with one of those “jumbo” pencils.

“Is that your essay Kayla?” I asked, flipping my hair back.

“Maybe, maybe not.” She responded covering up her paper with her
arm.

“Well just to let you know, I finished my paper last night.” I could
feel all of Kayla’s hopes and asperations for that ice cream party,
and for being Queen of Sprinkles just crumble. She couldn’t compete
with me.

I figured since I’d finished my paper I could go back to obtaining
some sort of social life. As I walked into the cafeteria, I looked for
some primary candidates. Let’s see I thought looking around. What
about Amy? Naw she was a threat as far as smarts; there would be too
much battle of the brains going on. Shawna? Definitly not! She was worse
than Kayla. She was ten in Kindergarten, what did you do? Fail naptime?
Plus she wasn’t tough. Thomas? There’s potential. Thomas was a
fourth grader, but I knew I was smarter than him. He was automatically
tough because of the fact that he’s a boy, but there was one major
problem…he was hot. You can’t have someone cute as a sidekick, that
would only mean that the attention wouldn’t be on me, and girls would
flock to him like wild banshees. I let out a big sigh; my search was
unsuccessful, so therefore it would have to continue another day.

It was the 15th now. I was so anxious about the next day. I’d already
set my watch, and I had approximately 24 hours, 30 minutes, 15 seconds,
and 0.05 milliseconds. I continued my search for a new friend to keep my
mind off the time. I sat on top of the jungle gym, looking over the
yard, like a sniper with no gun. That’s when I saw her. The perfect
sidekick: Oprah Windom. Why her name was Oprah? I have no clue; she
didn’t even fit her name. Her mom should’ve named her Ricky or
Jenny, heck she should’ve even named her Maury. I hopped off the
jungle gym and rushed towards her, when I was interrupted.

“What the hell are you doing over here Becka?” Kayla asked. I was
really getting tired of this dingbat.

“I’m going to talk to Maury, I mean Oprah. Do you have a problem
with that Kayla?”

“Yea I have a problem, you’re in fifth grade territory, and I
don’t want you over here.”

“So what, are you a dog now? Did you piss on this so called territory
of yours?” she looked at me with that confused look again, how I’d
missed that look. “You know what Kayla I just wanna talk to Oprah then
I’ll be out your territory.” She let me go past. I called out to
Oprah, and I motioned her to come here. She did, and I stepped off my
old stomping grounds. There was a bit of sadness in my heart as I
stepped into second grade territory. I looked back at Kayla as she
kicked the kick ball to third and began to run bases.

“What’s going on?” Oprah asked.

“I was wondering if you would be my friend?”

“I thought Kayla was your friend?” she questioned.

“That dummy? No she’s not my friend.”

“Well, it sure did seem…”

“I don’t care what it seemed like!” I yelled. Why was I getting so
angry? Was it because Jenny was telling the truth? Was it because I felt
guilty? Damn this essay contest!

“You know what Oprah? Never mind, you can carry on with whatever you
were doing.”

“Umm…okay.” She said befuddled.

Today was the day. I was so excited I told my mom to layout my best
outfit; it’s mystifying why she put out the dress I wore on Easter.
The dress was yellow and black. I ran from bumblebees all day that
afternoon. I arrived to school, paper in hand. Ms. Williams was there to
collect them at the door, as I handed her my paper she winked at me,
basically letting me know that I had this in the bag. I sat in my desk.
Kayla was there early for once. I looked her up and down, no
competition.

“It’s now 11:35am, time for recess. And you guys get an extra 15
minutes outside so that I can grade the essays.” We proceeded to go
outside. I sat on the swing the whole recess.

It was time; I walked into class wiping the sweat off my forehead. It
all came down to this moment.

“So, I’ve graded the papers, and it was a close race, but the
student that I felt examined the topic, and really exemplified her
reason with depth, feeling, and…”

“Ms. Williams just tell us already!” I yelled.

“The winner is: Kayla Andrews”

“What?” I could’ve died at that very moment. Kayla of all people?
Kayla won? What did I do wrong? Was it my grammer? Did I not punctuate
it well enough? This was worse than the time I found I discovered that
Michael Jackson was really black, and that, that wasn’t his real nose.
I snuck off to Ms. Williams’s desk as everyone crowded around Kayla to
congratulate her. Where’s her paper? Where is it? I finally found it.
It was typed surprisingly, and it was only two paragraphs long. However
what it entailed was something even I couldn’t have beat, it was about
our friendship. It was about how I was what made Kayla want to come to
school each day, it was about how she tried so hard to do good on this
essay so that she could show Ms. Williams that she was capable of going
to the third grade. And finally it was about how me betraying her
friendship just made her want to win this contest even more. I was the
reason Kayla had won the essay contest, it was my fault. And as I
watched Ms. Williams shower Kayla’s head with candy, I knew I would
never be the Queen of Sprinkles.

*Thank GOD I'm famous*=