by Shinequa Sutherland

 

Knock Knock

“Excuse me, sir. Hello, sir, you can’t park…”

That’s how I was found or at least my body anyway. My name is David Johansen and I was murdered on Friday the thirteenth. Sounds like a prank or something doesn’t it? It’s not, but the detective that investigated my murder thought it was a sex job gone wrong because of the way my killer left me displayed in my car. My pants were unzipped and there was a smudge of lipstick underneath a condom that was placed on my penis. This was hilarious to me because I used to be a ladies man but now I’m a mans man if you know what I mean. The only thing that wasn’t funny was the knife they found in me. So, let me skip my life story and tell you about the investigation. This is how it went…

 

“Ok, what do we have?” asked Detective Vicky M. Fossett.

“Name is David Johansen, male, 28 years old, African American, born November 2, 1979. The M.E. puts the time of death somewhere between 9pm and 12pm on Friday night. From the looks of the crime scene, he was getting a little action with a pro when things went bad and she must have stabbed him in the chest.”

“Who found him?” Fossett asked.

“School safety officer. Says he was checking the permits on the cars when he got to this one and found him like this.”

“Any witnesses?”

“Nope. Berkeley High’s parking lot is open to anyone after school hours, so anyone who came and went probably didn’t even notice a body.”

“Alright. Where’s Raff? Never mind, I’ll call him,” she said then speed-dialed his number. In her phone, he was number 8 because the number she was going to dial was the phone the department issued them. Not to be confused with his personal phone. That speed-dial number was 3, right after her mother but before Luigi’s Pizza.

Ring Ring

“Where are you? Did Michelle give you my message?” she asked urgently.

“YEA. IM ON MY WAY THERE NOW. PEACE,” then she heard a click and immediately after, silence. Confused by what just happened, Vicky continued with her investigation.

Less than ten minutes later Raff pulled up in that sexy ass POLICE jacket that I made him wear to my house, and I do mean only that jacket. He made his way through the crowd of students and media, flashed his badge and headed toward my body. The look on his face was priceless. A look of unbelievable sadness that he recognized me, but I do admit that that look of sadness was sexy as hell. He was shocked to see Fossett behind him which made the previous look make me want him more than I ever wanted him before. If only I wasn’t dead. Anyways, let me finish with my story. So….

 

“How did he die?” Raff asked.

“He was stabbed in the chest with what appears to be a kitchen knife” Vicky replied.

“A kitchen knife!”

“Yes. Why do you seem so upset about this case Raff?”

“I’m not upset, I’m just stunned at how I just was in a case with him and now he ends up here, dead, no more than 2 months later.”           My poor baby Raff must be really sad and wants to find out who killed me, because he rushed Vicky through that conversation just to get to the station.

They split up and left the crime scene in the cars they came in, and headed to the station where they were about to hear from Captain Diesel Krunch. I found that there are a few good things about being dead. One good thing about being dead is that I can follow people around which is ok but I can also ear hustle better than ever. All I have to do is stand next to a person and I can hear they’re whole conversation. Even on the telephone.

“Ok you two, what do we have” the captain asked as they headed toward their desk.

Ring Ring

Vicky answered the phone while Raff and Captain Krunch kept talking.

“Hello Detective Fossett. It’s Chris down at the city morgue.”

“Oh hey. What information have you got for me?”

“Well, um, first we have a knife that appears to be from a regular set of kitchen knives but these are engraved with the initials M.A.M on them and a fingerprint on the knife. Then, we also have a small piece of human hair underneath the victim’s nails.”

“Is there a DNA match?”

“Yes. To one of yours, a Detective Anthony Raff”

Wow. Pause for a second, now this is a set up. This is something I didn’t understand at first. But telling my story, before that bright white light I see gets any closer, makes this become clear. That Michelle girl must have framed him because there is no way one of his hairs could have stayed on me. Not after what he and I did Thursday night. The shower water should have washed every trace of him off my body.

“Ok thank you,” she said, then responded to the captain “Not exactly Captain, I just got off the phone with the M.E. He says that the knife had the initials M.A.M on it with a fingerprint on the knife and a small strand of hair under the victim’s fingernail as well.”

“So, is there a DNA match?” the Capt. asked.

“Yea. And it belongs to Raff.”

“What!” Raff said.

“What! Me! How is that possible?” Raff asked.

“I don’t know Raff, but it is. So… partner, where were you the night of the 13^th” Vicky said sarcastically.

“You know exactly where I was Vicky don’t even act like you don’t” Raff replied slowly raising his voice

“I know but you did leave for a short period of time that night” Vicky whispered.

 “But I came back to you. Remember? I went back to your house and we finished having sex. Or don’t you remember?”

“Oh I remember Raff, but you don’t have to put our business out there like that. I didn’t want the whole department to know that we were sleeping together. Especially not the captain.”

“Look you two. I don’t care what you do outside this office or behind closed doors but its interfering with our investigation so end this shit now!” the Captain said. “Raff, Give me your badge and gun. You’re suspended until the investigation is done.”

Then Raff left. He slammed his gun and badge on the desk and headed home.

“Captain, you didn’t have to suspend him. You could have put him on another case. I’m sure there was a good reason for the hair.”

“Vicky, I know he is your partner and all but he just became one of your suspects, so treat him like one. Go question his girlfriend. See if she noticed anything unusual with him lately.”

“But Capt…”

“No buts. Get moving Fossett or I’ll suspend you as well.”

That’s harsh. Not only does everyone in the room know about they’re relationship, but now she has to treat her partner, the man she’s been sleeping with, like a murder suspect.         

Ring Ring

“Fossett.”

“Detective. Its Chris again. I just found something interesting. The print we found on the knife didn’t match any holding patterns the killer would have used. So Detective Raff isn’t the killer. ”

“That’s great. I’ll go tell him--”

“Wait. There is something else. We dusted the knife and car for prints again and found something. There was a print in the car and skin fragments on the knife. There was a match in the system. The print and skin belongs to a Michelle Alexandria Monroe. She is your killer. ”

“Ok thanks.” Vicky said with excitement then pressed 3 to dial Raff.

“Yes”

“Raff its Vicky. You’re clear. The M.E. said it couldn’t have been you that stabbed him. But they do have another set of DNA its Michelle’s. Raff, she’s the killer.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. I’m on my way there now. I’m 5 block away.”

“Ok.”

So Vicky gets to Raff’s place and rang the door bell, then knocked a few times.

Come in. the door’s open.” Michelle yelled.

“Hey Michelle. How are you?” Vicky asked.

“Pretty good. Well, I’ll leave you two to talk.”

“Actually, I’m here for you. Michelle Monroe, you are under arrest for the murder of David Johansen.”

“What? I didn’t kill anybody.”

“What do you mean you didn’t kill anybody? You just confessed to me.” I said. What the hell is wrong with her? First she says she did it, and then says she didn’t.

“Well whether you confessed or not, the evidence against you enough for you to be arrested.” Vicky said.

“Hahahahahahahahahaha. Yes. I confessed and am confessing. I confess to killing that David person with the knife. I kissed his dick and put a blue condom on it. I put Anthony’s fingerprint on it, and Yea Anthony, I know all about you and him sleeping together Thursday night. That’s why I did it. You bastard. If I can’t have you, no one can.”