We’re Gettin’ Rich!
By Ben Manlove
The party was poppin’. With the lights low, and the smell of
money wafting through the air, mainstream rap blasted throughout the surround
sound speakers, making the floor pulse with the beat. There was a designated
dance floor, but it had become too crowded for anyone to dance.
Out of the corner of his eye, Blake spotted Chandler chatting
with a couple of Puerto Rican twins. It had been a few months since they’d
seen each other. They’re friendship was still intact, although it had become
distant over time.
Blake squeezed his way through the crowds. The mansion was
capacious, able to accommodate hundreds, maybe even a thousand. More and more
people were entering through the double stained glass doors, generating a
densely populated atmosphere of chaos and craziness.
Blake approached him, but Chandler was the first one to speak,
“Dude! Hey!”
They greeted each other with a hug and their version of a
“hello,” half yelling through all the noise of conversation and music.
“Man, V.I.P. status over here, huh?” Blake said, laughing,
excited at the sight of Chandler with two, beautiful, exotic females wrapped
around each of his shoulders.
“Yeah, dude, you know who’s party this is, right?”
“Nah, I just showed up with a couple of roommates. We could
hear it from our
dorms and thought we’d stop by. Plus we saw that flyer by the
library earlier today that said, ‘Wanna get rich? Wanna have fun? Party at 630
Studdard St. 9pm to 2am. Bring
your college I.D.’ We figured this was the place to be.”
“Dude,” Chandler paused. “Yeah, dude. It’s the guy who started
SYIGR. He just moved in and is throwing this huge party to help make a name
for himself.”
“What the hell is SYIGR?” Blake asked.
“It’s a new phone company that just made its way into America.
It’s already blown up in Asia, and it’s growing in epidemic proportions in
Europe. He wants to throw this party because he says the phone company will be
of interest to many young adults. Some weird shit like that.”
Blake looked around. He saw a distinctive mixture of people.
There were young men in button ups and slacks, and women in fancy dresses.
Each was holding a glass of Dom Perignon. Then there were Blake’s type;
college kids with polo t-shirts, cargo shorts, and flip flops, all holding red
cups.
Blake turned back to Chandler and smiled.
Chandler returned the smile and said, “I’ll tell you what, you
want to make some money and get rich like him? I’m offering you a job. I
already joined in with him and have made three g’s in the past six weeks. It’s
legit, dude. This company is gonna be huge. We’re all gettin’ rich, I’m
telling you...”
Blake thought to himself while Chandler took a sip of his
drink.
“I don’t even know what this is about, but sure sounds like an
opportunity I can’t pass by.”
Chandler nodded his head and took Blake by the shoulder.
“Here, let’s move to a spot where it’s a little bit quieter.
I’ll tell you everything you need to know.”
Blake followed Chandler out through the glass doors and onto
the street. They walked by a couple of young men who winked at Chandler and
smiled at Blake as they passed by.
“Why are we outside? It’s cold as shit.” Blake said.
“Uh, it doesn’t matter. Just listen,” Chandler responded. “This
new phone company, SYIGR, is a home phone service that offers a bunch of
packages for long distance and monthly rates. I won’t get into the logistics
of it right now, but just check it out- all you
have to do is get your friends and family to switch their land lines over to
SYIGR, which is a lot cheaper than those mainstream phone companies they’re
probably using, and recruit people like I’m doing to you right now. It’s easy
work, I’m telling you.”
Blake was curious, but had a few questions to ask first.
“How can this company offer such low prices and make so much
money? And how did it blow up so quickly in those other continents?”
Chandler looked slick with his Gucci suit, Armani glasses and
champagne flute. He answered the question with ease, “Well, you know how it
costs millions and millions
of dollars to advertise on TV? SYIGR doesn’t do that. They can
afford to have low prices by not advertising, and instead spreading the word
of what they stand for through us. You know, friends and family.”
“Ah, I see. This sounds pretty intriguing I must say. There’s
gotta be a catch though. How do I join?”
“Well, that’s simple too. You sign up online and create an
SYIGR account. I can do it with you.”
“That’s all?”
“And there’s a down payment.”
“Aha. Figured. How much?”
“One thousand bucks. But I swear you can make it back within
ten days. I made mine back within less than a week, and I received my
bonus of three hundred exactly two days after.”
“Shit, man. That’s a lot of dough. You got to promise me I can
make that money back though. I also want to know how I get my money, you know,
maintain an income once I’m in this business.”
“Sure thing. There are two ways: the first way is through
bonuses. You receive your bonus after you reach the next position of
salesman,” Chandler took out a scratchpad and a pen, and began to draw what
looked like a tree diagram. “You make it to these higher positions by signing
up new recruits and getting more people to switch over their phone lines. Once
you reach each level of position ranking, your pay gets higher. We’re
talking growth in exponential figures here. I have a chart in
my car that shows exactly how much you make a month from the number of
recruits and line changes you have successfully converted; I can show you that
later. The second way to produce income is through residuals. You make money
off of each person‘s monthly phone bill. Seven percent, to be exact. Each time
they pay a phone bill, seven percent of it goes to you. Now, here’s the
catch: you may think it’s hard to go out and sign up a bunch of random people
to join the company and to switch over their phone lines, but the thing is,
once you get someone to sign up under your name, every person they get
to sign up under their name, will eventually go under your name as
well, and you will receive their bonus along with them. And, along with
their bonus, you get a percentage of their residuals as well.”
“Wow. This really does sound legit. I understand what you’re
saying, but let me clarify something- I get the
money of a recruit who got recruited by someone I initially recruited?”
“Yes.”
“And how does the company know I recruited them?”
“You fill it out online and it will ask for the employee that
referred you. Everything is done online. The website will be like your
office.”
“Alright. This sounds good, man. I just don’t know about that
initial rack I have to lay down.”
“Hey, man, I’m tellin’ you. I made it back within a week. Plus
my first bonus. You can do it, I’ll help.”
The next morning, Blake awoke feeling happier than ever. He
looked around his room and saw just how disgusting his lifestyle was and felt
excited for a change. His head rested on dirty clothes every night because he
never bothered to look for his pillow in the mess. Cereal bowls with milk and
soggy Cocoa Puffs sat under his bed. Textbook pages lay at the foot of his bed
with tape stuck to them from the first time they were accidentally ripped out.
Those people last night would never live like this
, Blake thought to himself. He wanted to live like they were,
even if he was in still in college. He wanted to have money to do the things he
wanted. He wanted to be like Chandler. Even though Chandler wasn’t in school, he
still had money, and money was all anyone needed.
Over breakfast the next morning, Blake told his roommates what
his friend Chandler had offered to him at the party last night. They listened to
him closely and said that they had overheard someone talking about the same sort
of deal to another person as they were leaving the party. They had wanted to get
more details, but weren’t exactly sure how to. After listening to what Blake had
to say about it all, they decided they would be his recruits.
“So, if we end up being your recruits, that means you
get a head start and will make money off of everything we make money off of,”
exclaimed Keith, one of Blake’s roommates.
“Well, yeah, but it’s better to sign up under me, than under
Chandler, who would be your only other option.”
“Shit, yeah, I guess you’re right.”
Keith looked at Conrad, and then back at Blake.
“So are y’all gonna do this?” Blake asked.
“If you say it’s so easy, then I’m in,” Keith responded.
“Yeah, I’ll do it too, but you’re dead if I lose my money,”
said Conrad, Blake’s other roommate, and teammate on the water polo team.
“You’re not gonna lose your money,” reassured Blake. “Think of
how many people we can convince to do this! It’s money in in the bank guys.
We’re getting rich!”
It had been three days since Blake started his account, with
Keith and Conrad as his first two recruits. He was ready to devote as much
time as he needed to making his down payment back and be eligible for the next
position, known as “Executive Team Trainer,” and soon striking it rich.
He hadn’t been to class because he was out on the corner of
Hertz and Jackson, the busiest intersection in Monte Tigre, dressed in a
button up and slacks, with clipboard in hand, asking random strangers to
switch their phone lines. He had his two recruits, which was the first step to
making his money back. All he needed was ten people to switch over their phone
lines.
As he vied for people’s attention, he realized just how lucky
he was to get his recruits so quickly. It was quite a challenge to find ten
people that would actually sit down and go through the paper work to switch
over their phone lines. He tried every
opener from, “You want to save money on you next phone bill?”
to “Ever heard of SYIGR?” He wasn’t having much success.
Two weeks had gone by, and Blake was over his head with make-up
work. He was falling behind in all of his classes and he had not made a single
cent. He had only convinced two people to switch over their phone lines, his
mom and his grandma. Keith and Conrad were on his case everyday questioning
him with the legitimacy of the business, because they were unsuccessful as
well.
Blake received a shocking phone call from Chandler the next
day. Chandler told him that each new recruit had only three weeks to get their
recruits and the line changes otherwise it would be impossible to make the
initial money back.
“What the hell, dude, you never told me that when you got me to
sign up!” Blake was infuriated.
“Yeah, I know, man, my bad.”
“My bad? My bad!? That’s it, dude? Just ‘your bad?’ Not
only did you not tell me that I only had three weeks to do this, you told me
this shit would be easy! I haven’t gotten jack yet. I’m down a thousand bucks,
and so are my roommates who trusted me with their money, their time, and their
energy. They’re gonna kill me!”
“Well, shit, too bad, dude. You shouldn’t have been so
naive. Did you even ask what the company stood for anyway? ‘SYIGR?’ No, you
didn’t. That whole party was a scam. The purpose was to get as many people as
possible to come, and expose them to a
lavish lifestyle. Then, hopefully it would get them to want to
sign up as a recruit. ‘SYIGR’... SCREW YOU I’M GETTIN’ RICH!”