I was standing on the corner of Glendale and Fairmont with no money. I needed some money and I needed to get food. I needed to get to the gym too- my build was weakening quickly. I stood on the corner in a wife beater and denim jeans, tan boots on my feet. I figured the first thing I needed to do was get something to eat, so I ran to the pizza parlor half a block down the street.

As I started to sprint, some asshole ran into me with his red BMX bike.

“Watch it, asshole!” I yelled, as I ran after him.

I caught up to the white man dressed in a Hawaiian shirt, and began to throw punches as he rode beside me. He stood no chance against my rapid flying fists. I gave him a couple roundhouse kicks as he fell to the ground, spewing blood in a small puddle around him. As I looked down at him, four hundred dollars appeared, levitating over his body. I picked it up and hopped on his bike, performing a couple bunny hops for the strippers across the street.

“Yeah, baby!” they hollered.

“You like that bitch? There’s more where that came from!”

My sex drive started to increase as I rode past the strippers and arrived at the pizza parlor. My health was slowly declining. I needed food.

I walked into the restaurant and an ugly white boy with acne greeted me by reciting the menu.

“Hi there, welcome to Pizza Palace. Would you like the McPizza pizza or the salami salad pizza or the lonely pepperoni pizza?” he asked me in a monotonous squeak.

“Gimme a pepperoni.”

“Ten fifty.”

I gave him the money and figured I could whoop his ass back for it. I looked around the restaurant and only an old black lady was sitting there, half asleep.

I walked around to the bathrooms and saw a fire extinguisher floating with a white glow. I walked over to it and held it up. I ran back over to the front counter as the white boy handed me the food. I sprayed the extinguisher in his face as he began to yelp. He fell to the floor and thirty-six dollars sat before me in front of the counter. I grabbed the money and began to leave as two wanted stars suddenly appeared above my head. I left the pizza parlor and two white cops shouted me orders as they drew their guns out.

“Hold it right there!”

“Go fuck yourself!” I told one of the cops as I sprayed him in the face with the fire extinguisher.

As the cop fell to the sidewalk, I felt two bullets enter my shoulder.

“Aw, shit!”

The other police had fired his 9mm at me. I was losing health. Three more bullets entered my side as I turned to run back into the pizza parlor.

“Hi there, welcome to Pizza Palace. Would you like the McPizza pizza or the salami salad pizza or the lonely pepperoni pizza?” asked another ugly white boy who was now behind the counter.

“Gimme a pepperoni.”

I could hear the police officer yelling as I chomped down my food. I ordered another pizza and I began to regain more health. I was 99% healthy and figured I could take the cop on with my hands. I exited the pizza parlor and sprinted right for him before he could get any shots off. I gave him two round house kicks to the head and he dropped instantly.

“Take that, punkass!” I yelled as I stomped him out.

More blood spewed to the cement as another wanted star appeared above my head. A 9mm was levitating above the police officer’s body. I grabbed it and ran over to the dead officer and picked up his 9mm for more ammo. I’ll be needing these, I thought to myself. With the gun in my hand, I opened the police car door and hopped in. I shut the door all in one motion and Willie Nelson began to sing Patsy Cline’s “Crazy” over the radio as I sped off.

“I’m crazy, crazy for feeling so blue-”

I quickly changed the radio station and turned on my siren. I flipped through the stations until I came across Cypress Hill’s “How I Could Just Kill A Man.”

I wove through traffic as best as I could, heading for my safe house. I needed to change my clothes and get a new paint job so my wanted stars would disappear. The police were after me and there was no time to dilly dally. I ran into cars as they stopped for red lights and hit a few pedestrians as they were crossing the street. I was driving recklessly, but I didn’t care. I was already wanted for murder, a few more casualties wouldn’t really matter...

I drove past an alley where I knew I would be safe for a couple of minutes. I needed a new ride because the police car was beginning to smoke. If I ran into one more object it would catch on fire and blow up.

I hopped out of the police car and ran into a back alley in between two small, ugly houses. I sprinted down the alley and saw a gleaming star, similar to the wanted stars above my head. I ran right into it and wouldn’t you know, one of my wanted stars disappeared. Yes, I thought.

I sprinted a few more feet and turned into a yard where I saw a huge glowing oval with a flamethrower inside of it. Oh YES! SCORE! I grabbed the flamethrower and made my way back to the street.

As I approached the sidewalk, I saw a rival gang’s tag on the side of a brick building. I brought out my spray can and began to tag over it, but before I could finish it, three members from the Burros gang ran over to me talkin’ mess in Spanish. One whipped out a machete while the other two got into fighting stances. These fakeass vatos didn’t stand a chance against me. I thought to myself which method of disposal do these putos deserve- flamethrower or 9mm?

I whipped out my newly acquired flamethrower and began to torch them. The one with the machete attempted to stab me but I was too quick for him. They began to run off as they realized I had the upper hand.

“Oh hell nah!” I said as I sprinted after them. There was no way they were getting away.

I caught up to them and finished them off with my 9mm. I took the machete and 125 dollars they had left me. My gang status had increased.

I walked back over to the brick building and finished my tag.

After completing 1/100 tags, I was ready to head back to my safe house. It was located about ten blocks from where I was standing on the radar- too far to walk. I needed a car, any car would do.

I spotted a black Sentinel parked in a driveway on Woodland Ave. I walked over to it and attempted to open the driver’s door, but it was locked.

“Damn it!”

A taxi drove by and pulled over as I walked out of the driveway and stood on the corner.

“Where to?” he asked.

I didn’t respond. I walked into the street and opened his door, violently tugging him out of the car.

“This is my ride! I’ve got places to be!” I yelled to him, as I began to speed off.

“Hey, get back here!” he screamed, running after me.

I drove away. The old taxi driver had gotten his taxi jacked.

I stopped the car one block away from my safe house and hopped out. I needed a few more bucks because I needed to get some new clothes as well as a nice little whip to drive around town and pick up hookers in.

I walked into the cul de sac where my safe house was located and saw a few crack heads sitting on the steps of their homes. I figured they’d have at least a couple of bucks on them so I pulled out my 9mm and shot the three crack heads one by one until I ran out of ammo. I walked over to see what they had on them. Two glowing ovals with green bills inside, and one glowing oval with a Molotov cocktail. I picked up each item. I gained eighty-five bucks. It wasn’t enough. I needed just a few more bucks before I was satisfied to call it a day. I walked to the outskirts of Fairmount street where I saw a man in a business suit who looked like he had more than just a few bucks on him. I had picked up a Molotov cocktail and decided I would throw it at him. I took it out and reared back to throw it. I missed him by a few yards, however, the explosion of the cocktail was enough to slightly catch him on fire. He began to scream and run away, so I chased after him and finished him off with the rest of the fuel in my flamethrower. He fell to the ground and blood spewed in a puddle around him. Sixteen ovals with stacks of green bills appeared. I walked into each one of them, picking up a total of 700 dollars. Yes, I thought to myself. Now I can get back to my safe house. I quickly sprinted back to the safe house and walked up to the stairs and inside. I walked past the couch and the T.V. and into the kitchen where a little floppy disk was slowly spinning. I walked into it and saved my day’s work.